the massacre

On our wedding day,
I pledged you,
I committed to you,
I promised you.


I lied. 
I failed.
I broke the promise.
I broke the pledge. 
I committed adultery.

I broke you.
I watch you bleed.
I took your life. 
I took your love.
I took your worship.

I gave you away.

I gave us away.

I’m in your debt. 
May my life be yours.
Take me.
Mold me.
Make me.
Cleanse me.
Restore to me the one I once cherished.

Restore the love

Restore me

Restore the love

Restore me

I realize the abomination I gave our commitment

I understand my mistakes

You are the constant in my life

Whom I will always love

I still believe in a marriage with you

I have reaffirmed my commitment to you

Please, for the love of all that is beautiful

Please, for the love of life

Please, for the love of our children

Please.......

My hear crys

Do you hear me
Do you hear my cry
Do you hear my saddness

Not enough to love me

I hear you
I made you cry
I hear your saddness

Enough to love you

God hear the cry of my heart. Heal me.

Beautiful

How can I be beautiful to you
How can you love me if I'm not
Is there something, anything, I can do
Will I ever be beautiful to you again

God help me be beautiful from the inside out.  If I am not beautiful then I will never be beautiful.

It hurts......

knot in my stomach

There is a knot in my stomach

And I hate that it’s there

It comes when I’m insecure

There is a pain in my body

And I did not put it there

It comes when I’m insecure

I am sick

I am in pain

I am insecure

My salvation

My marriage

My life

Is this all

Is this mine

Is this life